Definition of Liz

"I have this friend, Emily. She's obsessed with smelling EVERYTHING." - pg 53

How To Ruin A Summer Vacation by Simone Elkeles

Cardwell's

This time baby I'll be bulletproof.

How Your Mother Locked Me Out Of The House

"Okay Liz, just walk away and stay calm." I tell myself. This is after I drag the hose up the deck and spray the house with water.

Gretchen had the bright idea that she would lock me out of the house and I had gone a bit crazy and decided to spray the house with water. She didn't budge from her spot at the sink washing dishes. She doesn't even like washing dishes!

Dragging the hose back down to the grass I suddenly come up with a brilliant idea, I'll bike to Courtney's. So, after (thankfully) finding my shoes still out in the garage from after mowing this morning and writing a quick message in chalk on the drive way I'm off.

Arriving at her house I slam the kick stand down and ring the doorbell. Chrystal starts barking and I brace myself for the 30 seconds of crazy time where Chrystal goes a bit well....crazy.

"Hey, what do you want?" Courtney says while pushing the dog away with her foot. I walk in and am greeted by her mom. Then the weirdest thing happens. I feel a sharp pain on my leg, it's not until I've started my 'locked out of house' story that I realize I'm bleeding.

Both Courtney and her mom race around the house looking for Band-Aids, and disinfectant. "I'm not going to touch your blood, sorry Liz." Courtney informs me while holding open the door to the garbage under the sink.

And after a few minutes I'm kicked out (nicely) by the two lovely ladies on their way to the softball game, but not before they apologize a million times. Hopping on my bike I ride off into the sunset where I hold the 'locked out of house' story over Gretchen's head and where I finally end up telling Mom and Dad while eating burgers. Ah, what a wonderful story to tell the nieces and nephews. Want to hear about the time your mother locked me out of the house?

Nothing To Fear

In FDR's first inaugural address he said something that would be said many more times in thousands of speeches. The only thing we have to fear is fear its self. If more people would take this sentence literally insurance and security companies would be out of business. But, on a more serious note, kids wouldn't be scared to talk in class, children could sleep well at night, and mothers wouldn't buy excessive amounts of padding for when their kids rollerblade. People would be a little more loose.

The number one question:

What is Liz afraid of?

1. The dark
2. Murders
3. Hobos who live on her roof
4. Failing
5. Ear hair
6. Guys with socks on
7. Friends/family dying
8. Creepers in the airport/mall/theater
9. WW III
10. Shopping
11. Lizard people who live under the earth
12. The movie psycho
13. The quote "a boys best friend is his mother."
14. Death by electrocution/starvation/drowning (or buried alive)
15. Invisible man killing me in my sleep
16. Swimming pools
17. Fairs
18. Amusement parks
19. Lack of maps
20. Food courts

So, what 20 things are you scared of?

Upchuck, athankyou

Dad laughed for like, 5 minutes after he watched this. Like, on the floor laughing with a red face.


There is no words for how stupid this is.

Shun The Nonbeliever

My sister, Gretchen, has decided to create a blog. As of last night she has started and posted twice. In both posts I am made to look like a raving lunatic, I am not. Still, if you want to enjoy it, here is the link.

G-Money

Go Bartlet!

A talk show host defends calling homosexuality an "abomination" by saying that that is what the Bible says in Leviticus 18:22 (That verse, by the way, reads: "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; such thing is an abomination.") This annoys President Bartlet who proceeds to ask a few pointed questions about just what one should accept from the Bible.

"I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleaned the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be?"

"My chief of staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police?"

"Here's one that's really important cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7 If they promise to wear gloves can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point?"

"Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother, John, for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?"

"Think about those questions, would you?"

Roslyn

Mom won vinegar queen, our shirts say: You think I'm cute? You should see the international vinegar queen.

My cousin Rudy posing with a lion, Dad is sending it to him so he can use it as his facebook picture.

The pickle! Got to feel for the poor smuck in the costume.

You Look Hot

A story from my mom's 30 year reunion. Retold by her to the family moments before this was posted.

You all know (for sake of security) Bill Nemon. Well I was talking to him in the gym and all of a sudden he told me, Wow! You've lost a lot of weight since I last saw you, how much did you loose? You look hot! Don't you think she looks hot? And he just continued on about how much weight I had lost for the rest of the night. So I played a long and told him I had a gastric bypass.

The irony is that Mom has never been over 115lb.

Tessa = Sick

Bus conversations, yep. We talk about some of the weirdest things. One of which I just read a comic about. I thought I would share it with you guys. (click for better picture)

Funny part, it's really about how big their populations are not the men who live in the countries.

You Have Mail

Here Goes Nothin'

I know, I know there's a video on this post (click on picture to go to webpage) and you probably won't even watch it, but it's what made the term girl, I will cut you famous. You just need to watch it, please!

*note, don't read the comments, Meghan is right, all of the youtube video comments are creepy beyond belief!

EJ

My mom has been doing her Little Orphan Annie Drama Camp at the Ronald McDonald house the past three days. The house is for patients who are in the cities for medical treatment and who need a place to stay. So for months their families live in the apartments while the kids get treated. The nice part is that it's all for free and the people in charge hire people like my mom to do things like her drama camp to occupy the kids time.

One kid has stood out to Mom during the camp. His name is EJ and he has some skin condition where the treatment makes him exhausted so he is in a wheel chair, but he is one of the nicest kids. Always saying please and thank you, constantly apologizing for taking too long on the crafts and saying he's making the play look bad. All of these things Mom shoots down right away telling him he doesn't have to apologize and that he isn't making the play look bad. Still, it makes my heart break.

Good part is, his condition is treatable. But I think it would be a good idea to think of him or pray or sacrifice a chicken in his honor.

With Us Are History

His carefree days with us are history. In short our pal is doomed. - Hakuna Matata

My poor dad.

We've been redoing our cabin and the past five weeks he's made the four and a half hour long trip to Roslyn, South Dakota where it's located. Tomorrow the whole family is going and that will make it his sixth trip and my second, I went a few weeks back during memorial day.

I'm kinda' excited to see how it looks.

Uncanny

Meghan this is for you.

ok, will you guys hate me after this..? my newest televison obsession is.....................the west wing :(

The text from above is from Meghan's post titled sadder than SADD. When I read it I sure didn't hate her, instead she showed me another reason why were so alike. We both are/have been obsessed with The West Wing. The show is about the inner workings of the White House, the staff and the Presidents family. It's quite addicting and it should be added to my family's list of obsessions (referenced to this).

I was reminded of the show when I went all OCD last Saturday and organized the DVD's. We have the second, sixth, and seventh seasons of the show which I am more then happy to lend to Meghan.

The thing that really pulled us towards the show (aside from the drama) was that the character Donna Moss (portrayed by Janel Moloney, pictured below with her kinda boyfriend Josh from the series) looks exactly like our cousin Deni. It's actually kinda' creepy, it's almost as scary as my twin from Modern Family.

Yellow Sundress

"..Love was that way. You could not render it black and white. It always came down to the strange , blended shades of gray." - Jodi Picoult, Picture Perfect

Pharmacy

Place anchor strips (2 or 3) approximately one third of the way up the lower leg below the bellies of the distal aspect of the gastrocnemius. This is the proximal tape anchor. Place a distal anchor around the midfoot. These anchors may be partially taped directly to the skin to provide increased adherence (see image 3)

The ankle wrap box makes warping your ankle sound like fun, and the blue stars all over make it quite kid friendly.


I place the box back on the shelf and keep walking down the aisle. I really hate pharmacies, they have crappy paperback books, gossip magazines, and creepy cashier workers. Plus there's not even a DVD section.

Summer Thinking

I know it's a bad idea. Thinking during the summer, but the worry was in motion on the bus ride home. I guess I should have ridden with you Meghan.

Junior year, the year that makes everything possible or impossible. What happens during those nine months determines what your life will be like. Another words, will you be living in your parents basement or will your parents be living in yours.

This summer is the time to make an impact. Volunteering, lots of that, and also the experience of a job would be nice. I'm not talking baby sitting or mowing the lawn I'm talking about Sams Club.

Yep, I'm shooting for the stars folks.

^doesn't that sound like a Meghan thing to say?

Soy un perdedor I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?

Be Persuaded

Goodness, look at the time! I am so sick of worrying and thinking overall, I just want it to be summer! I really just want to have to think about what my next meal will be or how to organize the DVD's in a more convenient way, but no I have to hold onto my brain until Tuesday around 1ish. I am so peeved!

Then there's this stupid persuasive speech, I have to do it on genetic engineering aka cloning and food fiddling with. Stupid stupid stupid! You know what, I think I'll go on a run tomorrow. I haven't in the longest time, that's what I need.

That and my allergy medication, you have no idea how long it's taken to change it! You might be thinking, wow wasn't that like a month ago, YES it was a month ago and still NOTHING! Stupidpeoplehthinktheirallthatwiththeirstupidwhitelabcoatsanddoctorsdegrees....

I really didn't have a fun day.

Human Genome

"Wow, OCD much?" - Gretchen

Today instead of preparing for my english final or Spanish or even History I organized the DVD's and, knowing me, I really organized them.

There's the Pixar movies, and dramas, then musicals and movies that are part of a series, then kids movies and holiday themed ones, and then the movies that Dad bought but never watched and I just opened.

Sad part was I only got ride of a handful of movies, I wish I could just chuck most of my parents, they never watch movies anyway!

I was opening all of the unopened DVD's and goodness me! Do you know how hare it is to unseal a DVD case? It's better security then the president has. My hands really hurt now.

A Pimp & Her Boys

"Get off the phone." I say for the last time. The room feels like it's closing in on me, it's still humid even thought it rain the equivalent of an ocean this morning. At least the lights are off.

"We should talk about him." One of them suggests. I figure it will get him off the phone so we start pestering him.

"Okay, got to go." He tells the person on the other end of the line while glaring at the rest of us.

There's six in all. Squished into an Arby's booth for two hours trying to keep up a conversation. I'm the only girl.

Mrs. Drew walks over to our table and check in on us.

"Well aren't you the pimp of the video class." She smiles and I can see Alex out of the corner of my eye laughing. I guess this is what I get for calling him gay.

"Okay, so siblings." I grasp for strings, not much else I can find to keep the fire burning.

Our feet touch, and instantly I don't care that JD's burping, Meheer's telling us his life story, Cortland's not paying any attention, or that Adam is slowly peeling apart a napkin. I just stay very still, not moving, and he doesn't either.

No Privacy

"You don't a person until you walk 10 miles in their shoes."

Recently it's been big news that Facebook isn't as safe as it once was and I'm a little fed up with it all. Hello, if you create a profile online where you post personal things then yes, people are going to see it.

Anyway, I happened to come across one of my cousins facebook messages and then it led me to his profile picture history, and then....

(btw, the 2 guys on the left are both my cousins, but the one I'm talking about is in the middle)

I guess you never know a person until you take a look at their profile pictures.

Purely Whites!

"I think it's time for me to go." says Gretchen as I race up to the deck.

"Oh yes, you don't want to miss a dentist appointment." I sarcastically say back.

Gretchen has this weird love of the dentist. Don't get me wrong I'm in love with my dental hygienist lady, (mostly because she's the only one who isn't a complete snob) but I can't imagine a person loving the dentist as much has she does.

If I had to pick, the appointment I most look forward to is a hair appointment. I guess it would also be a massage or facial, but I've never had an appointment for one. When the family was in seattle Leslie gave everyone a body massage, that felt good!

Finals are here, goodness. And apparently so is the cable guy.

Chill PLL

Telegram from Liz McNaughton To you

I'm going to start reading STOP
You may not see me for a while STOP
Don't worry STOP
I'll notify you when I'm done STOP

END telegram

American Words

"So, what's your favorite american word?" I ask the German exchange students who are tagging along during filming.

"Oh, sorry I mean english word." I correct myself while the others are getting into their places and as Matt sets up the camera.

"Squirrel." The girl says and giggles. "We can't pronounce it really well, but you guys sounds funny."

"Funny? Squirrel?" I try out the word a few times. "How about yours?"

The boy looks at me for a second and then answers, "Oh. Fuck."

"Umm...how nice." I say turning back to the set. Matt's laughing at me while trying to hold the camera.

I fold the paper I'm holding into fourths. "Goodness, just go Matt, just go."

Old School Vs. Digital

I remember once watching a behind the scenes for one of the Indiana Jones movies, mostly because it's created by two of the most powerful men in the movie making business and partly because it's the only way I can learn while sitting on a couch.

I don't know why this sticks out, but I remember a part where Steven Spielberg and George Lucas are interviewed together and George is making fun of Steven because he only uses film, he won't touch digital where as George is all about digital.

At the time I thought I was cool because I too didn't trust digital cameras and only used film.

Then on friday, the stupid tape breaks and I have a panic attack. Everyone thinks the tape is long gone, but I am able to snap it back in place! Then when I pop it in the camera at home the screen shows me a poler bear caught in a snowstorm.

Stupid film.

Emotionless

"What time is it?" I ask really no one in particular.

"Five to two, I just checked." Squeaks Emily. She looks up from her watch and leans against the locker while brushing a stand of hair back under her hat. I can tell she would never be a goth in real life, playing this roll is killing her. A senior walks by and sneers at us.

It's a sight to see, I'm not gonna lie. First off there's me, holding a script and a broken cell phone, then Adam who's off to the side waiting for his cue by making small talk with the hall monitor. Cole is laying on top of the lockers with his head between his arms, his character is supposed to be a druggie and is tired throughout the whole film, but I don't think he's acting. Ben is sitting on the windowsill playing with his blue Gatorade bottle while cringing at the amount of dust on the lockers. Zach and Cortland both have nothing to do, but lucky Cortland has his ipod, where as Zach doesn't. They are both staring at the ceiling.

"Cortland, you can go back to the classroom." I say. He looks at me blankly.

"You can go back if you want."

"What?" It's obviously a question, but his voice doesn't make the sound either because he can't or he won't I'm leaning towards the first reason.

"You can go into the classroom, we don't need you." I say slowly, I feel like I'm talking to a six-year-old.

Still no facial expression. "Sweet." He says.

Jumping down Cortland walks back to the classroom as dully as possible.

I turn back to my crew and add, "You can go back too, Zach."

"Naw. I'm good." Zach doesn't take his eyes off the incredibly interesting ceiling. I shrug as a response.

"Okay, let's try this again." I look at Luke who has set up the shot and focused the camera. He pushes the button and nods for the right of way. I signal Adam.

My Clipboard

The filming when really well today, sure most of the guys were cracking sick jokes, but I think we did a good job. We might need to reshoot the whole thing because of a few reasons, but hey I'm proud of everyone and now that we know what were doing it's kinda' getting fun.

Plus, I got an amazing director like comment today because I was carrying around my clipboard. Made my day!

A Bigger Boat

"You're gonna need a bigger boat." - Martin Brody (Jaws)

I was the only person on the ride to get wet. Courtney, who was sitting centimeters away from me, was dryer then Texas. The ride wasn't even that amazing, and our tour guide didn't even get into character. Sure, she shot a pretend gun into the water, but that's about it. Besides she didn't even get the shark, instead the shark got me.

Video didn't go as I planned today, but c'est la vie. Tomorrow is another day.

We start filming.

I'm scared.